Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
