We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
