my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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