He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
