yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
