my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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