my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
