so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
