i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
