OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
