even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
