I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
