I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize