i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize