just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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