It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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