you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
