i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
