You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
