At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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