Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
