I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
