Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
