brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
