I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
