1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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