He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
