Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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(408): View more from California

He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!

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(530): View more from California

He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

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(360): View more from Washington

that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...

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(406): View more from Montana

We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly

(647): View more from Ontario

Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying

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