Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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