what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
