let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
