Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
