Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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