p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I want is dick and wine.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
is it fun? or sober?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
