I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize