i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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