no, he came in my armpit
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
