I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
