there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize