Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
