Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
