Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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