i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
