trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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