only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
