I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
