when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
