i just made my gag reflex go away.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
