so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just pee around me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
