seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize