slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
