Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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