So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
