so explain again why im purple
no
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
