Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
