She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't deserve a penis
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
