ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
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