i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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