you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
