Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
