why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
