I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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