Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
