You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
