Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
