to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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