he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
