He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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