We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
