I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
