Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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