i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
