i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
