Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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