Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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