youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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