can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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