Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
