oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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