How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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